You Know You Are...

In honor of a hysterical list I just read, I decided to post my very own:

You Know You Are 9 (+) Months Pregnant When:

-You sometimes sit on the toilet for ten minutes at a time, because it would be a waste to leave the bathroom...you'll be back in a few anyway.
-You debate buying ANOTHER bottle of Tums, deluding yourself into thinking that the baby will be here before the current bottle is gone.
-You only wear shoes that slip on. Yes, they're probably tacky.
-Virtually no clothes really fit anymore.
-You struggle mightily against slapping anyone who has a witty comment upon seeing you, such as "Gee, you're still here? I didn't think I'd see you today!"
-You yearn for the sight of blood on the toilet paper - you'd have to be admitted to L & D then!
-Everytime you wake to pee in the night, you find yourself hoping that you wake up in a puddle.
-You knock things over with your belly.
-Your friends and family keep staring at you when they think you're not looking. What exactly do they think they're going to see that I won't already know about?
-You almost dread the phone ringing. No, I STILL haven't had the baby.
-You see all the mess, and still don't even have the energy to CARE, let alone clean.
-You've washed all the baby's clothes/sheets/blankets more than once, and put them nicely in the drawers.
-You dream of being woken up by crying instead of a "full" bladder.
-The doctor asks if you're experiencing any swelling, and you say no, only to realize that you haven't worn your wedding rings in weeks. Oh, that counts as swelling? Thought it was normal.
-You go to the mall to walk. Not to shop, to walk.
-Your husband is suddenly VERY concerned with every sigh, sniffle or sound you make.
-Anything that falls to the floor is condemned to stay there unless a) someone else retrieves it for you or b) it's vital to your existence, e.g., a Rolaid.
-You spend hours debating with your husband whether or not you really have dropped.
-You skim all the pregnancy books you have finished reading to see if you missed some vital clue about going into labor.
-You spend a large amount of time debating which natural induction method sounds most appealing today.
-You have pep talks with your unborn baby about how "today is THE day!" (And, like any child, they choose not to listen to mommy.)
-You think a night in which you only peed 5 times is awesome!
-You spend alternate periods of time blowing your nose frantically, and pinching it in hopes to stop the sinus pressure.
-You have memorized the number for the OB office.
-You legitimately think your boobs can't possibly get any bigger - and are WRONG!
-You are simultaneously praying for the induction and praying that you don't make it that far.
-You get unreasonably excited when a virtual stranger tells you that she is going to stick her gloved hand into your body.

False Alarm

Woot. After having contractions half the night, and leaking what I thought might be amniotic fluid, I prepared Shawn for a potential evening at Virginia Hospital Center - to get checked out. I really didn't think this was the real deal. I continued having contractions all day, that got stronger, but not any more regular. I spent my whole lunch break on the treadmill, and listening to Shawn and Connie tell me that I needed to call the doctor. To make them feel better, I obliged. The doctor said to please come in, either in the next 30 minutes, or go to L&D if I couldn't be at the office in time. I hustled out of work, thinking that maybe this was more serious than I thought, even though I explained to the doctor that I wasn't sure it was fluid at all, and that the contractions weren't regular at all. Sho 'nuff, the tests came back negative for amniotic fluid, and my contractions are pretty much nothing. I'm 1 cm dilated. And somewhat disappointed. I really didn't think I was going to have a baby tonight, but I was really hoping that I would be farther along for the amount and intensity of contractions I've been having. I plan to continue drinking my herbal tea (for "toning your uterus), and Shawn and I have a big night of mall walking ahead of us. For those who pray, help me out here. I'm not in complete misery yet, but I am definitely ready to be done with this.

Preggo Brain Strikes Again

Following is one of our favorite recipes for a lazy evening:
One box of saffron rice, cooked according to directions. In a separate pan, heat a can of black beans with garlic, chili powder, cumin and green onions if you have them. Once the beans are warm, serve on top of the saffron rice. I like mine with sour cream, Shawn likes his with salsa verde. What neither of us like is this dinner made with CLOVES instead of CHILI POWDER!!!!! Hello! How stupid do you have to be to grab the cloves (which admittedly resemble chili powder in coloring at least) instead of chili powder????? I swear.

No News is....Good News?

I had my weekly doctor's appointment on Wednesday morning. After an eventful start (my car had a flat, which I discovered driving to the appointment!), the appointment was a non-event. They didn't check me, so I have no idea how things are progressing, and the don't want to see me until the 1st week of January. Apparently, things are going swimmingly. I'm a little frustrated. However, I feel a trillion times better now that Christmas has passed, and we're still without baby. Now, if I can make it through New Year's, I will be very happy.

Ultrasound, Take 2

We had our last ultrasound today. The baby is definitely head down (YEA!), and facing to my side. I have a few tricks to try to get it to turn face back, to reduce the chance of back labor. Everything else looked great. We watched the baby "practice" breathing - you could see the diaphraghm moving up and down. The tech also showed us the baby's hair! Just some on the back of the head, but I was glad to hear it, since I was bald bald bald when I was born. I have a check up tomorrow, so hopefully, I'll find out important things like how/if I'm dilated.

Update

Had my weekly doctor's appointment today. Nothing too exciting to report. My Group B Strep test came back negative, so I'm happy about that. One less thing to have to worry about. One in three women has GBS, and it usually doesn't present any symptoms or problems. For newborns, however, it can cause very serious infections, so if you have it, they give you antibiotics through the labor and delivery. Yuck. I will do anything to avoid having any needles present. If I can avoid an IV, I will truly have triumphed. I'm not squeamish about needles, just don't really like them. It's like bugs. They don't scare me, I just don't like them. Other doctor appointment news: they didn't even do an internal. Never in a million years thought I would be disappointed by that, but I was really hoping the doctor would tell me how things are progressing. I'm hoping they'll do one next week. I have an ultrasound on Tuesday to check the size and position of the baby for sure, and then the weekly appointment on Wednesday. Stay tuned.

It's Like a Party in My Head

I had a very informative doctor's appointment this afternoon. All good news. The baby is head down, and doesn't have much room to flip. (I know they still can, but it seems like a good chance this one will stay in position.) The baby is measuring exactly right for my dates, so slim chances of giganto-baby. Additionally, Dr. M said I am not dilated at all, but 50% effaced. I know women can walk around for weeks both slightly dilated and mostly if not completely effaced, but I am taking this as good news; slim to zero chance of a Christmas baby, but evidence that I will not be pregnant forever! Yea! Last, I have a scheduled induction date for the 23rd. This is in case it looks like I will be pregnant forever. I said I wanted to go as natural as possible, so we picked as late a date as we could to increase the chances of me going into labor on my own. However, at least we have an absolute guaranteed end date on the calendar. All of this is good news. With every bit of information I get about how/where the baby is positioned, how big it is, etc, I feel better and better about my chances for a normal, natural birth. Whew. Next appointment is Thursday the 18th, so I will post whatever I find out then.